Home Living: Four Reasons Why You SHOULD NOT Live Together Before Marriage

couple

“I am not a big advocate of living together before marriage. It can be the right thing, but it can also leave two people stuck together who have not figured out what they really want out of a relationship.”-Emily Yoffe

 

Today, most modern couples are shacking up together and have started living their lives under one roof.

After all, there is no point in living separately when rental fees or real estate is priced at a premium. However, it is also highly likely that we have been told that we should never try living under one roof with our significant other without the benefit of marriage. Coming from a deeply religious family, shacking up before I have tied the knot was always something my own mother warned me about. The usual story goes that I would be living in sin and that the longer I live with someone, the less likely they are going to marry me.

After all, as the saying goes: why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? However, antiquated and rather archaic beliefs aside, there are a few reasons why you should not jump into the idea of living with your significant other just yet. Sure, the idea might seem romantic—exciting even as who would not love waking up and sleeping next to their partners day after day? However, before you start building on the idea and scouring for properties in One Roxas Triangle or elsewhere, it is best to be aware of what you are getting into.

So, before testing the strength of your relationship or the enduring resilience of your love by moving in together, here are some of the things you ought to know about and why you should decide against the idea:

 

Solitude should be embraced

When you are on your own, you have your own space. You have a designated room where you can be as you are. However, all these are pretty much extinguished when you are living with a significant other. Once you are sharing a room, the both of you would be compromising on the color of the duvets or what kind of pillows you should use. Furthermore, you might be constrained to sacrifice some of your belongings. After all, space would be limited and you cannot realistically expect to stuff your shared room with all of your belongings. Compromising would be something the both of you would be doing quite often. So, enjoy your solitude while you still have it.

It gives you a way out should you need it

More often than not, couples live under one roof in order to mitigate rental costs and other expenses. However, this is not a good idea until both of you have already had all the difficult and rather unpleasant conversations. This includes what your plans in life for together, if and when you would get married and the like. With this in mind, you should not share a residential property with someone you are not even legally tied to—lest it would cost problems. Admittedly, breaking a rental contract would be a lot easier than getting a divorce or annulment, but you should still think twice about getting into a rental contract with someone if you do not even see yourself with them for the long haul.

You get to live on your own schedule (and terms)

Living with someone means that both of you would have to adapt to each other’s habits. And like stated above, the both of you would need to do a lot of compromising. Living alone means that you can come and go as you please. You have your own schedule without bothering anyone and can work late into the night without the compelling need to stay quiet so as not to disturb others. This is not the case when you are living together as you need to be flexible with each other’s schedules. When it is just you, it would be far easier.

Convenience is not romance

Rental, regardless of where you choose to live which is why most couples would attribute shacking up together to the high rental cost. Living together saves them a significant amount of money and would allow them to split the monthly rental cost. However, if you put it that way, is it romantic at all? Remember, deciding to move in together is a big step and is a rather huge deal. In one way or another, it is one step closer to getting married. So, if you have decided to live together for practical reasons, would it not effectively extinguish the romance and excitement in asking you to take your relationship to the next level? Much like a marriage proposal, most individuals would want it to come from a place of sincere and genuine love instead of lackluster convenience. Take note: this is a decision that would affect the both of you. Incidentally, it would also bind the both of you together. So, if your reason is simply to save some money, would it not defeat the romance in your relationship?

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Four Features of a Good Neighborhood

 

 

Love thy neighbor as yourself, but choose your neighborhood. ~Louise Beal

One of the most crucial aspects to consider in purchasing a home in the neighborhood. As it is, you are not only there to buy a comfortable home to live in, but you are buying into a neighborhood where you would raise your children and foster relationships as well.

Considering this to be the case, it is a good idea to carefully scrutinize every single facet your potential neighborhood has in such a way that when you have ultimately arrived at a favorable decision, you can see yourself and your family acclimating to the new environment well.

Every single one of us may have a different set of standards for when purchasing a home, but a universal characteristic for these homes regardless of whether they may be billeted in a condo in Mandaluyong or any other lush area is that they should all be from good neighborhoods.

So what are the various characteristics that would make a good community? Read down below to find out.

1.) It should encourage greater mobility

Apart from accessibility, your neighborhood should offer its residents the convenience of getting around not only for motorists but for pedestrians as well. It should provide an equal ease of access and mobility for everyone. In the same vein, your neighborhood should be equipped with adequate parking spaces for cars or motorcycles and similarly should have sufficient pathways for pedestrians.

These pathways should be well lit and should accommodate pedestrians of any kind (cyclists and people on non-conventional vehicles such as Segways, Skateboards, wheelchairs and the like).

2.) It should have features that would add to the overall comfort and convenience of residents

A comfortable and safe home is one thing. But a good neighborhood complemented with essential establishments within its vicinities such as places of work, malls, recreational facilities and hospitals is the penultimate factor in deciding whether a home is billeted in a good neighborhood.

This provides its residents easy access to major establishments and would make city living rather easy.

3.) It should have adequate security measures

One thing you should never compromise when it comes to choosing a neighborhood is safe. It is imperative that each and every single one of your family members can truly feel at safe whether they are coming home from work or school or are making their daily commute towards their destination.

One thing that can guarantee you that a neighborhood’s safety is of paramount interest to the developer is when you see visible security personnel such as security guards doing rounds at random hours of the day. Take note, your home is a place of sanctuary, and if your neighborhood is not even safe, to begin with, any potential breach into your homes is not entirely impossible.

4.) It encourages social interaction

People are social creatures, and in choosing a neighborhood, it is important that you consider the potential neighbors you might have should you integrate yourself into their social sphere. One aspect if a good neighborhood is one that has an established sense of community and belonging among its residents. This is because should you be their neighbor, you would know that your neighbors would be more than willing to help you should there be anything you need.

Community facilities such as playgrounds, sports courts, and other recreational amenities would provide easy avenues for neighbors to interact and bond.

Last, but not the least characteristic that one should consider in choosing a neighborhood is that it should have character. Whether that may be the artsy neighborhood where most lost artists, vocalists trying to find their voice and soul or revolutionary chefs or an emerging hub for young corporate employees looking to establish a family.

Whatever it may be, make sure it has that one distinct and identifiable character that would strengthen your affinity towards it. This would set your neighborhood apart from all other communities and make it uniquely you—a home in an environment you can truly come home to.