“Marriage is a framework to preserve friendship. It is valuable because it gives much more room to develop than just living together. It provides a base from which a person can work at understanding himself and another person.” –Robertson Davies
Moving in together is a relationship milestone only second to marriage.
With this in mind, it would be no wonder why so many long-term couples would quickly adapt to the idea and start living together under one roof. After all, sleeping and waking up next to your partner would certainly present a myriad of romantic possibilities. However, quixotic fantasies aside, living together would also solve a myriad of pecuniary difficulties through the unified defrayment of mortgage, rent and utility bills. Unfortunately, just because living together presents fantastic opportunities for the both of you (both practical and idealistic) does not mean that you should.
Arguably, you can view living together as a trial run for what your life would be like when you do become a married couple and see what your long-term partner is really like. But you also have to consider the possibility that moving in together might strain your relationship and cause it to progressively deteriorate. After all, there is much truth to the maxim that says “familiarity breeds contempt”. This is not to say that you should never live together before marriage, but it does encourage you to weigh your options and give your decision a little forethought. Do not go into this possibility without exploring all the outcomes and possibilities. Contemplate and consult with your partner and see if this is the right move for you. Furthermore, try to find out if you and your partner are in sync and if your lifestyles match as this would be a paramount consideration when it comes to deciding whether or not you should live together. Ask yourself if you truly know your partner and if you can see yourself living with them for the long haul as sharing an address is a significant decision to make.
So, before you start scouring for condominium units in the East Gallery Place or elsewhere, here are some of the things you should definitely know about your partner before moving in with them:
How they maintain their space
More often than not, the primary cause of outbursts and domestic arguments would stem from one partner’s refusal to clean up after himself or herself. While you were still living separately, these might seem like a fun quirk about them. However, if you have to deal with it daily, your partner’s inability to clean up after themselves would quickly escalate into an infuriating trait insomuch that you might find yourselves rubbing each other the wrong way. It might be that your partner has an affinity for clutter while you wish for the place to be as immaculate and pristine as possible. In any case, your lifestyles should match and you would need to iron out any deal-breakers before you decide to move in with them.
Their oddities and pet peeves
Everyone has their own fair share of idiosyncrasies and your partner will likely have them too. In this regard, you should know what their pet peeves are as they should with yours. Cohabitation means that you would be living in proximity to each other for most of the time and they might have little peculiarities that send you into a blind rage. Having your partner know what they are would enable them to manage their behavior in the same way you would do yours. Settle it before you move in together so that pet peeves would not become a cause for arguments in the future.
What their routine is like
Most individuals have a daily morning routine without even realizing it. Being a night owl or a morning person contributes to how you go about your day. In this regard, know how your partner generally behaves in the morning before you even consider living under one room. Know what their sleeping habits are and what their daily morning routine is. They might expect you to adapt to your schedule or they might choose to adapt to yours. In any case, this should be discussed so that you can have a lifestyle that would match.
How they handle money
Money is a sensitive issue that calls for difficult discussions when it comes to relationships. How your partner handles his or her finances would ultimately contribute to how well they would settle monthly bills. When you move in together, you would likely share your finances which is why it would be a wise move to know whether your partner has a blasé attitude as regards their finances or not. Furthermore, while it might be awkward, it is vital to have a heart-to-heart talk about how you intend to share the living and household expenses and how you can save for the future. Remember, these are pivotal things that need to be discussed in order to avoid snarky arguments about money in the long haul.